So... I will try this post again since I had to walk away in frustration yesterday.
Things are going great! I feel wonderful, this weird ass diet is working! No more headaches, yeah life is good. I am back to editing pics. Even got around to doing a fantasy piece again.
Edited some pics from the trip down south that made me realize that something was wrong with my belongings and not me!
So yeah this is not as good of a post as I had written up last night. Heck if anything it is minimalistic. But it's a start.
So I am off for a walk!
Namaste
It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.” ~Bilbo Baggins
There are times that I really hate Voxes posting. Well.. I had a huge post but clicked on a pic that I was putting on the post by accident and of course it took me to the pic and lost my whole post... so blah.
I originally posted this story on Sparkpeople, but I have friends here that I wanted to share this with, you have all been on the rollercoaster ride with my health over the past few years, the ups and the downs. I have just not felt like blogging for awhile now. With the ups and downs with my health I just have not felt like doing much of anything for months now.
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Over the past 5 years I have laid the blame of my weight anywhere I could. From my husbands diabetes (uncontrolled so he tends to go low alot, meaning he eats often, which means I would munch with him alot of times) , to Lyme disease, to depression.
I started at 126 lbs in December of '04.
It seems a life time ago.
Within a few months I had gone from a size 8-10 to a size 16, I never
imagined walking down the isle in July of '05 in an extremely tight
size 16 dress. (it was not tight in May when I bought it!) I can hardly
look at my wedding pics because I can't see past the bulges,
remembering how I had to squeeze into one of those body molding
underwears that pulls all your fat in and hides it.
By Christmas of '05 I was pushing a size 20.
I started having all sorts of weird pains, heart wise and musculature around October of '05. My energy level was low, I was still walking daily. I just wasn't' building up any endurance... or losing weight.
In June '07 I was struck by a case of bells palsy with a side of shingles that had attacked the same side of my face as the palsy. My health was deteriorating faster than I could explain to the doctor.
We initially were trying to diagnose me as having lymes disease. Everything going wrong with me pointed in that direction. But the tests kept coming back negative. My heart was starting to really give me the worst trouble after the bells palsy. I was bed ridden most days. The pains through my body had me bed ridden the other days. Finally my doc just didn't know what to do anymore and suggested I try a holistic approach with another doctor.
She was giving up on me.
I almost gave up... on everything.
I finally made an appt back with her and she put me on anti depressants after I had a break down in her office. Needless to say they did nothing for me and the husband and I started making plans to move out of overcast rainy New England to sunny Arizona thinking that my problem was S.A.D. aka seasonal affective disorder. Massachusetts had been in a 4 year bout of constant daily overcast, cold rainy days.
After the move I felt great for a few weeks. I had a lot of days down recuperating. My energy had bottomed out over the years to the point where just getting out of bed winded me. I started eating healthy again, cut alot of junk food out of my diet and started to get sick. Real sick, I started having anxiety attacks often and felt as if I was worse then before the move. I would end up back in bed eating comfort foods trying to build my strength back up. I gained back every pound that I had lost.
Finally something clicked, a few weeks ago the husband and I left the house for a few days. I felt great! A bit wore out, but all in all really good. The day after we got back home I was sick again, and that is when it clicked. I realized something in the house was making me sick. Going back over the years the one constant that followed us through our moves was our furniture.
In the late winter/early spring of '05 our basement flooded from snow run off. We didn't know it right away since we never used it and it was just storage. I started smelling something odd, mildewy and moldy. We went down and found that the basement had molded from the flood. Huge blooms of black mold covered the whole downstairs, walls, boxes, old clothing. Everything was covered in black mold. We promptly cleaned it all out, tore down the dry wall and cleaned up best we could.
Around fall of '05 we noticed black mold starting to show up through the house. I bought some spray that supposedly would kill it. Not once in all this time though did I ever bother to read up on it.
When we moved in June '07 a week after I was diagnosed with the bells palsy, we moved all our belongings to our new house. All our furniture, which would have had black mold spores on them. We found out that winter that our new house's basement flooded, every time there was a melt off, or heavy rains. So yet more black mold sprouted.
All of this dawned on me a few weeks ago as I sat here wondering what in Gods name is wrong with me. So I finally, after 5 years have got around to researching if black mold can harm you.
It does!
Every thing that I have complained to my doctor about over the past 5 years is a symptom of toxic black mold syndrome.
Every time that I felt better was my body killing the spores in my body. The resulting couple days of down time afterwards was the poisons that the dying bacteria were releasing into my body to repopulate themselves. It is actually a very wild reaction that happens when mass amounts of bacteria die off in the body called The Herxheimer Reaction they release up to 79 different toxic products when they die! They get in the bloodstream and travel to all parts of the body where they can cause all sorts of havok.
It's going to be a long road to recovery from what I have read. But with just a few days down now and knowing this time, that this feeling sick now is a good thing and sticking with the healthy eating.. well I think I can do it this time.
My outlook is positive finally! FINALLY!
I have a goal and I can actually see it. It is not the goal of a number
on a scale, it is the goal of getting the old energetic me back. The me
that wasn't sick every single day.
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*This all began 2 weeks ago, I cut gluten out of my diet and the change in my life was immediate. I began with my black mold treatment today. So I am praying that good things happen with that!*
*The real meaning behind this post is, research what is wrong with you.
Don't ever let yourself believe that your doctor has a crystal ball and
can diagnose you. Some things in your life they cannot know about. What
doctor would have just randomly asked "Hey do you have black mold in
your house?" In real life that just doesn't happen. We have to take
care of ourselfs and research and then go to our doctor with what we
have found. But most of all, be alert to what is going on around you
and with your health, your doctor can only diagnose by what you tell
them.*
;)
Donate here... http://www.active.com/donate/2009montecarlo2030/chomple
For the first time in the many times the kids have gone back and forth between the Ex and I... This time feels permanent. She is almost 18 this time, she has a partner that she is moving in with. She is making plans for her future. It has left me with a bit of an empty spot.
I joked for years about how I would never NEVER suffer from empty nest syndrome. Actually looked forward to finally having time to do all those things that I wanted to do! But with the daughter moved out and the addition of my youngest hardly ever home due to football and his new found friends. The house is just... too quiet. All the places I wanted to take the kids to see, the places to do stuff, movies, games... they are no longer young enough to appreciate it anymore. It's all a headache to them to do silly stuff like going sight seeing, going for long rides, having their pics taken in front of silly stuff. They have their own agenda's now.
Sooo... my secret is trying not to dwell on it. I have gotten alot of editing done and my house is really really clean lol. I am starting to have time to stop and smell the flowers. I got my backyard looking awesome yesterday, hammock is set-up. Workout bench and some seating for if the son has friends over to lift weights. Pic-nic table, yard is weeded.. yeah it was gorgeous outside yesterday and I didn't have to stop mid job to drive anyone anywhere woot!!!
I noticed a bit of change in my editing last night, I think it may be from the changes in my life, I got an invite from a "whimsical group".. a year ago I was getting invites from groups catering to goth and graveyards. So yeah things are starting to look up! :D
So, where to start.
It's only 10:00 a.m. and I have...
half of my laundry done already
vacuuming done
dishes done
living room done
beds stripped
Still need to do...
yard work (that will have to wait now.. too hot!)
counters wiped down
floors mopped
bathrooms cleaned
So basically I am half done with chores yay!
The best and worst of the deal... I now have an extra room of my own to do with as I please. The daughter moved back to Illinois, Arizona was too hard on her. 18, out of school, no friends... She moved back to her hometown. I can't blame her, it's hard to start all over in a new place when you know no one. At her age you need friends, it takes years to learn that you can amuse yourself right? Ok.. we always need friends who am I kidding!
So at first, I thought hey, I can get some stuff out of storage and go through it in there.. then I got it cleaned up and saw this little sign I had made for my last work out room and decided hell with storage space, I need my work out room back! So that will be my last chore of the day. Moving all my work out gear in there! One thing that is totally cool out here in AZ is that the weight bench can be left outside! Glad I don't have to bring that in. The nights and dawn are perfect for working out too, nice and cool.
Fall is almost here, I am looking forward to a nice warm (not hot) season. I have intermittent bouts of missing New England, but we have plans to drive up to the Flagstaff/Sedona area soon. That should be enough to remind me of how green the world is :)
I am also slowly getting back into editing mode. I have been scrounging around in my older albums and looking at alot of photos in a whole new light! It is such a good idea to never delete old photos, beauty that may not be here today, might show up tomorrow!
Hope everyones summer was great and not too wet!
What are your fitness goals? What is helping or preventing you from accomplishing them?
Presented by Intel, Sponsors of Tomorrow.
My fitness goal is to get my out of shape body back on that elliptical and get back to walking 9+ miles a day so I can finally do my first marathon!
What is preventing it? Apathy? Still unpacking? No room to move ATM hehe
And ooooh we have sooo much sunshine!
I am loving living in AZ, quite simply it has given me the love of my art back again.
I spent the day editing and talking to an old friend from my Star Wars Galaxies days. We reminisced and looked at old screenshots and sighed over the loss of what should have been one of the best games in the history of MMO's.
All in all, life is good! The hubby just got word from the boss that he is going to bumped up to Manager in about 2 weeks. This means guaranteed income now yay! But.. the best part is that means that he is going to be in charge of the store that will be opening up here in our neck of the woods.. double yay!
So yeah.. life is good, the sun is shining, the house is getting organized, the sun is shining, life is getting normal.. the sun is shining... :) Yeah, the sun is shining!
First is a lily of the valley macro that I took this past spring, I decided to look up a bit of the history about it while I was editing it and came up with almost a card look.
We felt like Pilgrims on our trek across the country. I couldn't think of anything to do with this pic other than the mundane.. which I can't do!
Saying farewell to the Ozarks.
My first incoming monsoon. I took this pic as the storm was deciding on if it wanted to grow or shrink!
Backing up to 2008 and our cruise on The Music Boat. Leaving port in Miami.
Another pic from The Music Boat Cruise. We took an off boat expedition to Tulum Mayan Temples. This piece of art pre-dates the 1600's!
A boat that someone had pulled ashore on the Tulum Mayan Temple shoreline.
I like to call it *Home*... Arizona baby, granted this is a bit farther north. Heading up towards Sedona. Such grandeur and beauty.
And with that title it kinda says it all!
I am still unpacking.. you know this ;)
I am still adjusting to Arizona.. you know this ;)
I am still using way to many emotes.. you know this :D
I don't have a whole lot to write, I haven't gotten a whole lot of chances to do any photography yet, monsoon season has been hiding, other than a couple little blowby storms, there just is not a whole heck of a lot going on in my life!
I did have time to edit a few of pics though, so I will at least share those to those of you who care lol.. So, back to unpacking and or.. editing more pics. My life is so redundant atm!
Yes, I sat down today and spent the day doing near nothing. Well besides waiting til almost noon to go to the storage shed when the weather warnings said not to do anything in the mid day due to the heat warnings.. So I am a newb to the desert... hang me out to dry with the rattlers ;)
As to the rest of my lazy day, well I actually got some editing done. My new header for instance. That moon is smiling over Texas. The first rest stop that we got to after entering that beautiful state we had to pull over so that I could photograph a monsoon cloud that we had been watching off to our right. Then I turned around and saw a beautiful full moon watching me, so I decided to watch him! I finally got to use my big telescopic lens yay!
Here is the monsoon cloud that we pulled over to watch. It is a bit grainy due to the fact that it was nearly full night time when I took it so I had to leave the shutter open for a bit to catch it.
But without further ado, here are the cows with the blooming Monsoon cloud in the distance.
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